NikL...
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My wife is still in and we got into it for the first time in a while just the other day. I don't often speak about doctrine to her. When I do, she calls me an apostate, records me and threatens to go to the elders with the recording. I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect (or imperfect, as the elders say), but you and I deserve better.